Tag: disciple

Names Can Break Bones Too

Kevin3 Comments

When I was 9 years old my father left for the first time. His alcohol abuse was ruining our family. It wounded me in a way that would stick for a long time. This isn’t an unusual situation. It happens all the time, right? The problem was what happened next. The next day I wanted to escape. I left for school early and sat at the entrance. A friend walked up and asked what was wrong. I shared. His next comment stuck like glue … “I know someone else this happened to and they are messed up. Statistics show that you will probably turn out just like your father.” In itself that might not change somebodies course in life but it was reinforced. Over the next few years I was bombarded by comments like, “You look like your father.” and “You do that just like your father.” Pair that with daily bullying in school and you add comments like”dumb, fat, stupid, unliked, unathletic, jerk, nerd, gay, homo and small.” Heap on poor treatment from teachers who new my father along with family members and friends who did not portray the best example. Nobody really knew how much I was hurting. It wasn’t really on any individual but the bottom line it caused me to consider myself worthless. How is it that I turned out? I have an answer for this.

Proverbes 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. ” The power of death! Literally, words could do more than break bones, they could kill! I was alive but I was living proof that words could cut deep. However, there is a message of hope too. Life! I needed to be free of those terrible lies which had been repeated to me. It started with a promise. Proverbs 16:7 “When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” I just needed to be more like Jesus and not let what other people thought to guide my way of thinking. Psalm 118:8 “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.” I was giving those lies too much weight when I should be looking to God’s affirmation. I did realize that I needed to forgive those who wronged me. Mathew 6:14 “For if you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

There was another very important part of my healing process. I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that my biological father did not love me enough to give up drinking until I realized that my heavenly Father loved me enough to sacrifice His son. Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Once I began to understand this one thing it opened the doors to the rest. I needed this truth to stand on to make the hurt melt away and free myself from the lies that were ingrained into character. I realized that I also needed forgiveness from God and others I had treated wrongly because of this hurt I carried. The suffering I had endured had carried over into my relationships. Not only that but I started noticing something. Hurt people hurt people. People who treated me poorly were likely hurting themselves. It allowed me a sympathy for them.

1. If you have been hurt by words then pray right now for God to heal those wounds.

2. Pray for help in forgiving those who have wronged you.

3. Pray that God would forgive you for empowering others words over His own.

More than 40 years later I can still sometimes feel that hurt. What I can claim now is victory in Jesus. Matthew 5:11,12 “Blessed are those who people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great…” Today I am more resilient than ever when it comes to name calling. Now I understand better that I am blessed because of people who called me names. I am in fact much more likely to speak positively and want to help those I see hurting. After all isn’t that what Jesus would have done? I can’t help but think what if. What if my very young friend showed mercy and offered encouragement instead of comdemnation. What if a teacher said you can instead of you can’t. What if people just kept quiet instead of using hurtful words? I will choose to rise above what people say and look to my Father for his approval.

My prayer for you is that you will trust in God for your sustenance instead of the words of man.

Give Joyfully

Kevin2 Comments

This is number 4 of a 10 part series I call Financial Freedom. The previous part is called Misers Never Prosper.

For years I had a bad attitude toward homeless and pretty much anyone who was down on their luck. I just assumed they deserved their situation. In my opinion most homeless chose their situation and only a very small percentage were experiencing things out of their control. It actually angered me to give away my hard earned cash. Handing money over to homeless was perpetuating the problem. My mind was changed after seeing some bothering statistics.

According to the National Alliance to End Homelessness approximately 500,000 people are homeless every night. Even more concerning is that around 180,000 of those were in a family unit. Yes … families … that means dads, moms and kids! This did not sit well with me. Did families with kids want to be homeless? Then I noticed a verse. Proverbs 28:27 “He who gives to the poor will never want, but he who shuts his eyes will have many curses.” My attitude was not only flawed but I was suffering for it. In fact, Jesus calls us specifically to do it. Luke 14:13-14 “When you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” Not only would I be cursed if I did not give, I would be blessed if I did. Personally, I like the blessed part better.

This did not need to be complicated or put me out a great deal. A simple meal for a sick friend or serving food in a homeless shelter. I just wanted to change my way of thinking and give somewhere. I know I can’t solve the worlds problems but I can make somones world a little better. Starting small and see what happens. I would encourage everyone to do the same.

  1. Pray that God would reveal to you where you should give plus forgiveness for any wrong attitudes you may have displayed. Write down a few ways you could give to the hungry, afflicted and poor.
  2. Choose one or two of these. Make a plan to get these things accomplished and prayerfully request that the Holy Spirit move in these activities.
  3. Give thanks for the abundance God has provided you that it would overflow into those in need.

This is a process for me. Nobody ever helped me when I was in need! (Not true by the way.) I got myself out of any bad situation I was in! (Also not true. 1 Corinthians 10:13 ” No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”) I do not need anyone to help me (Ugh! Galatians 6:2 ” Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”) Lots of “I” in those statements. There is an attitude problem here. Self-centeredness. It made me prayerfully move my focus from in to out. Giving to random strangers is still not my thing. I need to know a little about a situation first, although I try to keep myself prepared to give if the spirit calls. I do however, appreciate my wife and son who joyfully help stranger. It’s a cool thing! God moves me now to give in other ways. It is a joy to provide meals to families at thanksgiving and Christmas. Offering help to people who have had major life changes like illness brings me a satisfaction I cannot explain. Christmas presents for kids who would otherwise have nothing literally warms my insides. There are so many ways to help and my response is very different now. It feels great! Why does giving feel so good? God promised He would bless those who give!

My prayer for you is that you would follow God’s leading and joyfully give to those who have need.